So in our worlds our in laws are not our friends. We don't have a good relationship even. Think its more of a 'I'll tolerate you, you tolerate me' relationship.
Specifically the widow here, yeah, my in laws have dropped off outta existence since my husband passed away. I mean no calls, no texts, no Christmas presents, Easter baskets. You know, forget the presents there has been no concern to check on them. Bizarre behavior. I feel very unwelcome and can feel the negative energy flooding my way.
While my guy was alive if there was a squabble or issue he would always say don't worry about them. Don't let them bother you. I'll take care of it. So in retrospect he was a buffer and maybe they never liked me and he just didn't want me to know. I don't know. Maybe ill never know. Maybe I don't want to know. I do know however its much harder to deal with them with him gone, then ever when he was alive.
The other side of the in law coin is my families additions. My brothers wives and cousins husbands. These people seem much more easier to get along with. That's not to say we don't bother each other at times. But if we have a spat its easily forgotten and we can sit together for cake and coffee 5 minutes later.
Perhaps if they were writing this they may feel differently but that's my thoughts on it. Maybe it has to do with the son's somehow. Daughters tend to stay around family and what not while the sons are dragged to their wives families. Which in one respect is a bother. I would definitely like to have my brothers and sister-in-laws and nephews around much more but at least we can be in one place and have a good time with no one feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome. We always have a great time.
I lie. There was a few months when I really couldn't be bothered with my sister in law but were way past that now. In fact that's what happens. Even when my cousins and I fight we never have to hash it out again to get over it, we just get over it. But my husbands family, there a rough bunch they hate each other for years before they get over something. Actually, (separate mini rant here ) not until my husband died had they all decided to put crap aside and get along. For all the years I'm apart of that family never once had all of them been getting along at one time! Really feel like 'oh my god people really? My husband had to die and the kids had to loose their daddy for you all to love each other!' There I think I'm done.
So there you go - the rant (run on rambling) on the in laws.