Monday, April 30, 2012

Z - "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah"

"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah"
" Hakuna Matata "
" Oo-de-lally "
"supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
"Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo"

These are fun phrases we love to say. They stick with you and just make you happy. Sometimes you may even find your self singing them over and over again throughout the day.  Gotta love Disney! Would love if they came up with a word for "You gotta fricking be kidding me!"

There it is the end of our rants on the  A-Z Challenge! This has been great fun, and were sad to see 'Z'
so "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" was a fitting choice for today.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Y- Yin and Yang

There is no better way to describe us. We complement each other, where Michelle's super enthusiastic and excited Christine is grounded and focused.  Where Michelle can have a thought spring to mind fully formed Christie can execute with ease.  The world needs yin and yang, opposites attract.


See you all tomorrow for our last day, Z came so fast!

Friday, April 27, 2012

X - Xanax a funny story.

Now you may have noticed we have a matter with the FDA & Big Pharma.  Our frustration mainly stems from chemically made drugs not antibiotics.  The conspiracy between pharmaceutical and doctors to write one drug over one that would be better less addicting less side effects over another.  That's another rant for another day.

Today were gonna rant & rave for xanax!  if you haven't taken this wonderful make the world better feel good drug, you should try it.  Did we just advocate taking drugs? NO you should not try it as unless under the supervision of your doctor, as it may be habit forming and harmful (there is our disclaimer).

That said if you find yourself under a great deal of stress full of anxiety panic and irritability and cannot access any marijuana, tell your doctor and they may script you xanax.  Neither of us have ever attempted ANY street drugs and xanax has only entered into our world when Michelle's husbands illness started to get progressively worse. 

Michelle's Funny Story:
I remember my first dose of xanax, ( you should not take drugs prescribed for anyone else and we don't recommend this but here's what happened).  My husband had just been admitted again. We had been on this ridiculous roller coster and I had a headache brewing that ran out of control.  Tylenol & Excedrin had not made a dent in the migraine that was taking me over.  After sleeping in a recliner beside my guy all night I woke up and had to vomit in the hospital bathroom.  My hubby the prince he is, then got himself outta his hospital bed and sat in the recliner while he was being transfused so that I could lay down and get the proper rest to rid myself of my incapacitation. 

As I lay in his bed as if I were the patient dying ( and that's exactly how i felt) and he sit in the chair like the doting caregiver support person, chipper, awake and watching TV like all would be just fine, in walks his mother, aunt and grandmother.  As this unfolds I think in my head, 'Jesus Christ'! really just who I need and just who I want to see me in bed while he's sick with cancer, this couldn't get worse. 

Of course the comments did fly, they can't help themselves.  "I thought he was the patient?" " I thought he was the sick one?"  Go f**k yourselves was the answer I wanted to fling back but didn't have it in me.  I never do when it comes to them I need to grow a set, but lets not get away from the story. 

After seeing me completely useless to their son, nephew, grandson, the attitude did change a bit to concern.  His aunt mentioned xanax that I should take one it'll get rid of my headache and get me back functioning.  His mother happened to have one on her.  They insisted I take it and I did and they left so we could rest.  After the pill was already down my throat and they were out the door my guy then turns to me and says "i really hope that was a xanax my mother gave you and she didn't give you something to kill ya!" 

Awe sweet! yeah I know - too bad he didn't think of that before i swallowed it!

None the less it took about a half hour and I felt tremendously better! Wondrous little drugs those xanax are!  Now I have a script but good for me I'm not an addict and only need one maybe once every two weeks when a panic about life in general sets in, or and extreme sadness comes over me. 

There you go our rant about xanax - hope you had a laugh.  We laughed and cried a bit while writing it! :-)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

W - Withdrawing from the banking system


How many of us have been victims of the ridiculously high unreasonable fees of our banks? I know we have!  ATM, over draft, and annual fees, what a racket. Really we completely understand the banks necessity to require fees, but it appears to us that these fees seem to only pray on average working families who are just getting by. 





We say this because really the amount of money banks make on overdraft fees alone totaled $31.6 billion last year, and the average over draft is $20. You know who paid those fees? You got it, regular average Americans.  Where's the sense in that?

Why should we continue to keep our hard earned dollars in the bank, to get charged $30 to $37 in overdraft charges?  Why should we? Where is the incentive anymore to keep our money in the bank? Oh wait maybe it's the .06 cents you'll make each month on interest.  We really still don't see the incentive.  The only good thing about keeping our money in the bank is convenience.  Direct deposit, debit MasterCard / Visa cards, checks.  But that's about it. You can get that now with a prepaid debit card. 

Granted if you have the fortunate circumstances to have investments, money available to you in multiple accounts,  make a larger then average salary and live more then comfortably then yes absolutely your money should be in a bank.  but as for those making practically just enough to pay bills, hit the store and put gas in the car, it might make more sense to withdraw from the banking system. 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

V - Valuable

We put so much 'value' into and on things but really lets think for a moment. What makes something valuable?

Is the monetary amount of something what makes it valuable? Is it the sentimental value of an item that makes it valuable? Does something even have to be a physical, actual, anything to have value?

We have always valued the simple things, things that most overlook.  Having a dishwasher, a washer & dryer in the house, a warm and comfy place too sleep, food in the closets, air conditioning, books! We can't even say that we have anything that is an actual something worth much of any monetary value! The sentimental value of objects that are worth NO amount of money and the value of things we can't touch to us, mean way much more! 

Michelle
When my husband got sick everything of 'value' went out the window the only thing valuable that mattered to us was US! The kids, family, love, faith, hope, friends! Its so cliche to say but, when you really get down to the nitty gritty, having those things make you more rich and more special than ANY one physical valuable item. Now that hes in Heaven, each and every item that belonged to him to us is now valuable! Can't part with them no matter the worth.  Even the junk with no worth, baseballs that were in his car that his team played with every week can't be parted with.  They mean so much!

Christine
For me I hold very little valuable(things), it could be because I grew up with the thought and belief that physical things don't last forever. This belief can be attributed to the loss of a parent at a young age. I value my family, friendships, books (this is unexplainable) and the small daily pleasure that some don't think of ;-). I value my time, I think more than any one thing, I can never have enough time with my girls, to play, read, or just sit and be quiet.



If your house was on fire and everyone was safe and you had to save anything, what would it be?

Michelle
I would of course grab his urn ( which i would actually make sure is out with the kids and the dog anyway) but I would grab our pictures. Irreplaceable memories.  HIS necklace charms,  items that have more value in my hand or with my kids then they would anywhere else.

Christine
I would run in and get my books, bad I know, I just love them.

The purpose behind our rant on Valuable, is just to get even one person to rethink whats important.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

U - United?

United? How can this country call it's self the United States of America when we're so divided?!

Rich, poor.  Working class, privileged. Our country was founded on the thought that we all, with hard work and determination can achieve greater things and have more opportunities available to us than what was available to our founding fathers and ancestors at the time in their 'home' countries.  Which is why to this day many people choose to come here. 

That said with the election approaching, our primary is today.  If you have followed our previous posts you may have got the idea that we are prideful middle class Americans.  Who have both Republican and Democratic views.  If you are following our election you would see that according to polls the country is at an even split.  We as a country are very divided on the issues.  "United we stand and divided we fall" how many times have we heard this quote?  We cant help be see that as long as Americans remain divided so extremely on issues we will fall again.  We need to not be selfish as to not just think about what is good for one we must consider what is good for ALL.

One issue that jumps out at us among many is the incredibly high cost of food now and qualifications for food stamps. 

We are not talking about the people who abuse the system and thus take advantage of every hard working American we want to address the concern for the same hard working Americans that pay taxes and CAN'T qualify for benefits.  There are many people who desperately need assistance now not because they don't want to work and provide but because circumstance has been put on them that restricts their ability to properly provide for their families.  Are these cases and families not exactly whom welfare assistance is meant to help. 

We saw this article, Food Stamp Challenge that states there are government officials who are currently attempting to buy and live on $35 a week for a food allowance.  We applaud them, we can't appreciate that they (people we put in office) have a genuine understanding for the needs the voters have unless they have experienced our daily struggles for themselves. We hope that this will prove that there is no way possibly to eat, let alone eat healthy on $35 a week.

This country is in crisis - the government needs to put a freeze on food costs and give breaks to farmers on gas & shipping costs , feed etc...; in order to give the the American middle class a chance to catch up. maybe then so many families that have been hit by the financial breakdown wont NEED food stamps. Perhaps another solution is to guide the American public with incentives to but direct from their local farmers. Better still local governments should support and influence their communities to create their own gardens to help with supply and demand.  Trust us a salad made fresh from your own garden tastes much better and is much better for you.  Salad should not come in a bag.

As long as our government insist on throwing crap on top of us well never dig out! Hope this experiment yields the results expected!

Monday, April 23, 2012

T - Tired of Two Faced-ness

Yes we just made that word up!  We all have at least one of these despicable intolerable persons in our lives.  A family member, acquaintance (wouldn't want to call these people friends) co worker, colleague.  Being in there presence just erks you right?

They are untrustworthy, sneaky, conniving, manipulative, believing them selves self righteous, ignorant somethings. 

But to be in their presence and engage them in what ever way, does that make us also two faced? Or are we simply just being the better persons as our mothers say?  Beating them at their own game by not letting them see that we have their number and that they are not phasing us in the least when really, we are screaming inside and cant wait to discuss the encounter with those dearest to us.  Does that make us any better then the two faced people which we speak or make us also two faced?  Now that's something to think about!

We have encounters with these people EVERYDAY!!! Sometimes we find ourselves walking upon these individuals and looking at each other like 'Oh yikes we can't avoid this'! We already know since these people are untrustworthy that somehow our encounter will be twisted.  You have to watch specifically what you say cause the words will be twisted. 

AHHHH really hate these people.  They are so phony! They talk about you, treat you as if you were a bastard and then when they see you its like they forget their actions and all of a sudden your their best friend! 

If you think we may be writing this with a specific persons or person in mind... YOUR RIGHT!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

S - Stress & ......Sex

Stress - one of the most undesirable parts of life. Who wants it? - We don't think any one just raised their hands!

Stress at work.  Am i doing well? How can I do better? I have to do better! I need to only bring positive attention to myself! Not to mention the jerks you have to work with that makes every day easy stuff, hard! How did these people get hired? And management! Yikes! If your burdened with a crap manager, we send you lots of hugs. We hate management that bully's, scares and pressures employees for production.  Don't these people know that stress breeds cranky, and that in most cases produces the exact opposite results.  Management is supposed to guide, support, and encourage! This breeds happy, happy employees = productive employees, or at least this has been our experience. 

Stress at home.  This really stems from time management, playing chauffeur, head chef, maid, mom, wife or husband the list goes on. We don't know anyone who doesn't have to play this weekly game ( its so much fun NOT), lets not forget lack of sex. Lack of sex usually comes from exhaustion and just being unhappy & STRESSED. 

Sex- one of the most desirable parts of life. Who wants it?  We can just see all the hands that went up, ours did!

Our solution or potential solution- SEX! What will be, will be! Move with the flow of the stream of life, we're not Salmon, you can't and shouldn't swim against the current.  Trust that your exactly where you're meant to be at this exact moment. So have sex, lots of sex, as much as you can, wherever you can, if you're brave.
The act relaxes you, revitalises you, makes everyone involved happy.... and we already said happy breeds happy. One of us is super happy, and de-stressed on a regular basis, but this is not possible for everyone for example the other half of this duo, the widow who had a very regular sex life has now been with out for about 17 months that's approximately 510 days ahhhhh - (well at least not physical sex or affection of any kind but that's another story).  So you gotta at least get off how ever you can to release some endorphins. Some suggestions are get an adjustment, a massage, a bob (battery operated boyfriend), something.  

Stress is all in perspective you can have it and multiply it or wooosaaaa - and send it packing!


We also just want to mention that snarky is just such a great  S word - but there's not too much to say about it! Plus we said we would write about stress or sex, so we gave you all both.


Friday, April 20, 2012

R- Rushing

Were forever rushing! This goes hand in hand with our procrastination post for 'P'.  We constantly have to put things on hold cause were rushing around doing other stuff. 

Absolutely love when people ask, you rushin? Cause we love to answer no were not Russian were Italian! Ha ha ha.  Have to laugh out loud!  :-) 

Rushing today because, one of us has a daughter receiving 1st communion on Sunday. Busy making butterfly cookie favors, need to run to the store, pick up the kids from school, need to clean up, hit dance practice, cook dinner, clean again.  No time for an insightful post today. 

Please check back tomorrow to read our rant on stress or sexuality.  Haven't decided yet.  Well have to wait to see what moves us for the day!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Q - Questions - Funny ones our kids ask!

Mommy Why?

The grass is wet! Is it the tree's saliva? (it's morning dew)

Mommy, why is it so soggy in here? ( the windows were fogged & sweating )

Mommy, whats the biggest fish? I don't know.  Can you look it up in that big book? Which big book? The you know the bible! (  I think that meant encyclopedia )

Mommy, do Mommies lay eggs to have their babies?

Mommy, why is a giraffe's tongue black?

Do girls pee from their butts, since they sit down?

Mommy, how come i can't have wine? Jesus did.

Mommy, are we going to need a boat like Noah? The news said there is going to be a flood.

Mommy, how come you have to put the car in "D" to make it move? Doesn't go start with "G"!!

Mommy, who's Howard?  ( Howard be thy name! )

Mommy, why are we up? It's still dark outside!

Why are elves ears pointy?

Do brown cows really make chocolate milk? Grandpa says they make chocolate milk!

Is that Jesus' mother singing up in the balcony?

Mommy, how can I talk to someone all the way over here and hear them right away on the phone?

Mommy, how come you have to put a K in front of nife? This makes no sense!

There are countless more!  They make any day better! Share with us some of the funny questions you have had to answer.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

P- Procrastination

Procrastination - We are kinda big on this, though really are awesome planners things still somehow are done at the last minute.  Even this post its 9:08pm and were just getting to it.  Mean while all day we have done nothing but rant about people complaining about their problems and that they really should give it up already.  Come on, if your complaining about the same 'problems' more then twice a week, FYI, everyone is probably tired of hearing about it as they too have likely the same problems.  Hating their spouse for the day, trying to manage finances, car trouble, their job sucks, it goes on. 

Remember there are people with serious issues, real problems, like ummm ... being homeless, being homeless with their kids, not having food in the fridge or closet, being just hit with a natural disaster, fighting a life threatening disease.  Really compared with real issues, having to have to drive through traffic from construction on your morning drive to work is a walk in the park!

We are the first to say everyone is entitled to your day to complain- we are "ranters" - but check yourself every once in a while, is all were saying.


Back to procrastination, we have discussed topics all day to write about, patience.  One of us has NONE! In fact one of the last things my husband said to my mother, while he was in hospice was that I have no patience.  Really I go from zero to a thousand, yes a thousand in less then a second OK maybe 5 seconds but I definitely over shoot 100!!! Ive been workin on it- for the last 17 years or so now.

And again back to procrastination, see this is what happens we put things off and put things off and get distracted and put things off and get lazy and put things off and decide oh lets watch Mob Wives before we have to get the kids, and then now its 9:19pm and we have just actually discussed procrastination. 

Done! Good night!


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

O- Oh say can you see?

The American dream or really the American myth? We are brought up to believe that anything is achievable, we can do all things. It's this hope that leaves us complacent and willing to work harder and longer. We grow up thinking that we will do better than our parents, have more, not have to struggle with life and living life.

The truth is that the rags to riches story is a one in a million scenario.  Unless you are born into a life a privilege, the odds are completely stacked against you.

What is the dream?  To own your home, be able to comfortably pay your bills, provide all that your children need without having to struggle, feed them healthy food (not just what can be afforded) have a steady job where you are appreciated at, go on vacation once a year.  These are all things that can be done through hard work and determination.  Or can it?

How many hard working determined people have now lost their jobs their homes all they have worked for in achieving this dream? Is this just bad luck? Too often it feels like no matter how hard you try to get your family to the next level, how good your idea is, that you play cautiously, your still doomed to fail.  Your social class, your credit rating prevents you from being able to hold onto that 'dream' or even from achieving it. 

Everyday, people fall on hardships, things that they have no control over or had no hand in creating. For example a sick spouse, the housing market crashing, loosing your job, things that no amount of planing can prepare you for. Now you find yourself in a situation where you are stuck, you can't get a job, you have medical bills, and can't get a loan to pay anything off because of your credit score & house having no equity. No one person is immune to these things, but the American dreamers the ones who have attained the unattainable, they are the people who seem to be hit hardest in this time of economic distress.

Our hard earned tax dollars were used to bail out banks from their mess. Yet the same curtiousy is not being driected back to the people who worked hard to bail them out.  Really, if you use the same scale to which "WE" are deemed fit for a loan the banks themselves should have been denied the bail out they were given.  "They" being, the banks and goverment officals have made bad decisions that have cost us being, the American people dearly.  And for us making a bad decision or falling on hardship now feels like an almost forever burdon.  We do understand that the bank bail out had to be, that said, it would only seem fair to lower in some respect the qualifications to be approved for a loan. The banks Should not hold you to a standard that doesnt exist anymore!

In the end we suppose, the only thing that matters is a loving family, respect and admiration. Not what you have or didn't have. But, that doesn't mean we all wont try and all shouldn't have equal opportunities to achieve the American dream!

Monday, April 16, 2012

N - Nasty on a nice day

  Sometimes when I wake up I have a short moment when my reality is blurred. Some days I think my husband is still alive some days I think its Friday when its Monday silly things like that.  I had one of those reality checks this morning.  As I lay in bed I hear the weather channels local on the 8s report that we expect plentiful sunshine, warm high 88 degrees. Question, you think that's a real mans voice or a computer generated one? Anyways, I thought for a moment are they on summer vacation, why did I waste a perfectly good morning to sleep in by setting the alarm clock! i patiently waited again for another 10 minutes to hear the forecast again. Yep 88 degrees and nope not on summer vacation. To put that into perspective on 2007 we had 10 inches of snow on this day.  As I stretched I thought in my mind all my plans for the day.  I can't even remember what they were now, because as soon as my feet hit the floor for some reason misery kicked in.  I dunno why either. Typically people say a sunny day brings out sunny people.  Nope not here, not today.  Neither of us were in a decent mood. We were for some reason both frumpy, nasty, cranky, cloudy, moody, all day! We did go for a walk first thing after our kiddlets caught the bus ( they didn't actually catch it that would be dangerous but you get what we mean ). The scene was beautiful, birds swooping past us and chirping away, butterflies flitting all about, squirrels hopping through yards, deer strolling along. It was peaceful, quite, but for some reason didn't fix the mood. 

Still dunno why we both felt so nasty on such a nice day, but here's hoping tomorrow is much better.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

M- Mitt Romney/Mom's


So apparently some democratic analyst made a stupid remark about Mitt Romney's wife, saying that she’s never worked a day in her life because she’s a stay at home mom. Now we can see both sides of this coin. If you've read back to our intro post, you know that there is one of us from each party, and we have some views that cross party lines (really we're just American). We are middle class stay at home moms, one who happens to have the privilege of working from home at her discretion, and has also worked out of her home for several years before that blessing was bestowed on her.




Stay at home moms work very hard we don’t sit home all day and watch talk TV. Now I don’t know the woman personally but I would bet that based on Mitt Romeny’s wife’s social class she did how ever have a bit more help in her daily routines then most average stay at home moms. But none the less that doesn’t mean she didn’t do anything. The other side of this argument is that it wasn’t meant to insult (stay at home moms) as if we have no idea about economics. I think almost every mom & wife knows plenty on the subject because whether we stay at home or add working out of the home to our daily activities we ALL have to be the house chef (so we know all about the rising cost of food), we all are the banker (so we know that there is not enough money to cover expenses and need to balance the funds that are available somehow), we are the caretakers who have to run the kids to the doctors or ourselves (when there is no health insurance and cry that there’s no money to pay for this visit or script) oh and the small matters of mortgage modifications, foreclosures and qualifying for welfare cause someone was just laid off. These are just some examples of what today’s mom/wife has on her plate.




Young or old, no matter which party you are a part of, if you’re of the middle class you know these hardships whether you are a stay at home mom or not. We can’t imagine for one minute that Mrs. Romney ever had to worry about if the electric was going to get cut off cause they had to choose to pay that or the water bill this month. Perhaps she did have these difficulties we are making an assumption, we don’t know where to find her life story, but this comment this analyst made doesn’t affect our votes one bit. The media is a bunch of shit stirrers.


Friday, April 13, 2012

L- Legalizing Drugs

Legalizing drugs has been a hot topic for years.
To be clear we've ever done any illegal drug ever. One of us has never even been drunk. Sad we know but that's not our topic today.

Really we could give a flying fig if anyone wants gets high. What is it any of our business unless of course you live in our home or you are our kids. Other then that go ahead get as high as a kite if you like.

If the government would legalize drugs in our opinion it could actually improve a lot of crime and pull us outta our financial hole the government put us in. Think about it. People are gonna buy drugs legal or not. The money that is spent on illegal drugs is not taxed.

So should someone want to buy marijuana, cocaine, meth whatever let them and have them pay taxes just like on alcohol and tobacco.  Like the FDA really gives a shit about people taking illegal drugs. They approve pharmaceuticals with side-effects and that are potentially deadly all the time! There should be a data base where you have to sign your name each time you make a purchase just like when you pick up your perceptions at the pharmacy. When you have reached a certain level each week or month you'll be cut off just as when you've drank too much at a bar.

This should also reduce street related drug crimes cause they can't push the stuff on the street so they can't shoot each other over it. I'm sure they'll find another reason to kill each other but drugs won't be it.

It will create jobs and generate more tax revenue. It's not like it will put Big Pharma outta business either since they would need some of the drugs they make anyway to make the illegal stuff.

Really think that congress should look into it.  If we were running this would definitely be on our agenda! :-)                       

Thursday, April 12, 2012

K - Kindness

It takes more energy to be evil and nasty then it is to be kind.  Little things make a persons day a bit brighter and in turn your day becomes brighter too. 

Just as misery loves company, happy multiplies too.  Pay it forward.  There's an insurance company that has a commercial like that now where one person sees another do something nice and they then do something nice for someone else and it goes on.  There is truth to this. 

The smallest act of kindness could make the world of difference to someones day.  Holding the door for someone else or the elevator or letting someone go ahead of you in the grocery store with a screaming baby, these small almost insignificant acts of friendliness can somehow manage to lift a weight off someones shoulders. 

If only people would put more effort into being nice, kind, friendly & considerate the world would be less toxic and more tolerable.

So be kind - er    :-)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

J- Jumping Jellybeans

We have no long rant about J- nothing - total blank - nothing comes to mind.
We lie, lots of topics came to mind, but nothing that we can have a hard rant over.

Jewelry- we haven't got any in a long while.

Judgmental - we really are ( we are trying to be better at it - sometimes)

Juvenile delinquents - here's a topic to spend sometime on.  We pray hard that none of our children are juvenile delinquents.  Where we live these trouble makers are out in groups as soon at its above 65 degrees.  They run a muck, have no respect, think they can do whatever they please.  They have no sense of consequence or care to.  We constantly wonder, don't their parents teach them right?  They must do as they see, or do they?  Really here is a bit of a secret so shhh don't tell - when they don't wanna move out of the street cause they think they don't have to, one of us outta this pair will speed up and barrel past them just to prove a point.  Bad I know but they enrage me. 

Jealousy - yeah we leak some of that too, cant help it.  Its frustrating to see people achieving goals (with little effort ) really if they work hard they deserve it.  Seeing people travel all the places we wish we could go, ugh that one sucks. Oh and for the widow I go completely green and ache with envy when i see happy couples, complete couples, daddies with their kids, husbands with their wives, women having babies.  Sigh it depresses me and I envy their happiness. 

Junk food- right now would really like a peanut butter & hot fudge sundae with vanilla ice cream and peanut butter cups chocolate sprinkles & whip cream.  We have given up junk food as best we can - we have a very strong feeling that the cure for cancer is in preventing it.  Thus if God didn't put it here to be eaten don't eat it.  This is hard to do but we do our best.  But if were on the topic, oh how we love Doritos or nachos & cheese too. 

There you go we didn't have one long rant for "J" but ended up with a few tiny ones.  :-)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I- In laws

So in our worlds our in laws are  not our friends.  We don't have a good relationship even.  Think its more of a 'I'll tolerate you, you tolerate me' relationship. 

Specifically the widow here, yeah, my in laws have dropped off outta existence since my husband passed away.  I mean no calls, no texts, no Christmas presents, Easter baskets. You know, forget the presents there has been no concern to check on them.  Bizarre behavior.  I feel very unwelcome and can feel the negative energy flooding my way. 

While my guy was alive if there was a squabble or issue he would always say don't worry about them. Don't let them bother you.  I'll take care of it.  So in retrospect he was a buffer and maybe they never liked me and he just didn't want me to know.  I don't know. Maybe ill never know. Maybe I don't want to know.  I do know however its much harder to deal with them with him gone, then ever when he was alive. 

The other side of the in law coin is my families additions. My brothers wives and cousins husbands.  These people seem much more easier to get along with.  That's not to say we don't bother each other at times. But if we have a spat its easily forgotten and we can sit together for cake and coffee 5 minutes later. 

Perhaps if they were writing this they may feel differently but that's my thoughts on it.  Maybe it has to do with the son's somehow.  Daughters tend to stay around family and what not while the sons are dragged to their wives families.  Which in one respect is a bother. I would definitely like to have my brothers and sister-in-laws and nephews around much more but at least we can be in one place and have a good time with no one feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome. We always have a great time.

I lie. There was a few months when I really couldn't be bothered with my sister in law but were way past that now. In fact that's what happens. Even when my cousins and I fight we never have to hash it out again to get over it, we just get over it. But my husbands family, there a rough bunch they hate each other for years before they get over something.  Actually, (separate mini rant here ) not until my husband died had they all decided to put crap aside and get along.  For all the years I'm apart of that family never once had all of them been getting along at one time! Really feel like 'oh my god people really? My husband had to die and the kids had to loose their daddy for you all to love each other!'  There I think I'm done.

So there you go - the rant (run on rambling) on the in laws.

H - Healthy Body Image

We are both mothers of young children.  Between the two of us there are 3 girls 6, 8 & 10.  Both of us are healthy thick woman who love our curves. We are very conscious about using the words fat big or diet around the girls. There is enough pressure from the outside world, they don't need it from us.  There was a period of time only a few years back when everything was skinny, bony, heroin chic.  Who finds that attractive?  Most men we speak to like a woman with meat on them.  You should love your curves.  Embrace them.  Work them to your advantage when necessary :-)  We don't want the girls or any girl for that matter to look at themselves with an unhealthy body image.  Society puts this stigma on our girls about weight and looks.  its wrong! Tthat's why kids grow up screwed up.  They think they don't fit the stereotype and they desperately want to be accepted.  Big is beautiful.  The idea society needs to convey its not the weight (entirely- we do understand that a good weight is important ) but more important its health.  Eating good, being active, before looks and sizes. 


Side Note: Sorry we're late, no school throws us off track

Saturday, April 7, 2012

G - God

Our topic may be appropriate or inappropriate considering tomorrow is Easter Sunday and all. Guess it would depend on your view of things.  We have not kept the secret that we are proclaimed Catholic Hypocrites.  We feel most Catholics are hypocrites, they just don't realize this but that's another rant.

Who is God? Is he an energy? A physical being? A woman? Could their be more then one? 

When we pray, think of Heaven or anything 'Divine'  we first think God.  Not Jesus, but God, the energy, being, man or woman who created all, Jesus included. This does not mean we don't think Jesus wasn't a savior, our savior, a significant person or divine being. We just happen to be more spiritual than religious, which means we recognize the top guy, he who reins supreme, the creator etc.. before recognizing his son, the holy spirit, the blessed mother and those alike.  We very heavily believe in Heaven, Angles, Divine Beings, blessed gifts (healing, physic, .....) We believe nothing is by chance, and everything is woven and controlled by something greater then ourselves.  This is a whole system for us with God as president of the operations (so to speak).
 
There are too many Ancient Gods throughout too many different cultures through so many years that have too many similarities to look past that there has always been God, Gods etc... We as a society have developed many religions to explain our beliefs, but that’s actually very complex its easier then that. The belief in God is much simpler then any religion can teach. 

{There are many sub topics on this thought of ours that we could go on and on. But needed to keep this thought as strait and narrow as possible.  It took a lot of effort to not get ourselves off course.  We love this topic and you can read more of our thoughts about it in our past rants.  We have lots more to say and were certain there will be future rants on the subject in the future. } 






                                               

Friday, April 6, 2012

Friends' a F word

With Facebook being the second most used F word, we all have lots and lots of "Friends".  For me a friend is someone whom you can call at 3am when you need a boost, knowing that they will climb out of their warm beds to help you.


Friendships flow and change into what you need them to be. Friends don't need to see you to think about you or have a conversation everyday to pick right up where you left off.  Sometimes however the friends you think would be at your side through the worst of trials end up falling short of expectation. Surprisingly people who never enter your realm of consciousness, who you never give second thought to, who you don't think of at all ever -  will sometimes step to the plate and rise to the occasion and BAM new friendships are born. 


It really does not matter the length of a friendship, some last for years and years and others are just a blip in your life, but all of them have changed us.  Every person in our life has been put there for a specific purpose. A true friend will let you vent, and take all your abuse you may have to give for the day if only for the sake of helping you get through it.  Likewise a true friend will put you in your place if your behavior gets a bit outta control.  And a true friend will still give you a hug sit and have coffee with you no matter the days events. 

Thursday, April 5, 2012

E - Easter

Its not news that this Sunday is Easter Sunday.  Though maybe there is one that forgot so to you yes this Sunday is Easter Sunday. ( Go ahead panic)

There is so much to do.  Easter has become as crazy as Christmas.  Maybe we feel that way cause were older and now have families of our own and with the rising cost of EVERYTHING Easter basket building is as expensive as the Christmas gift giving.  But we love it. 

We have traditions for the Easter holidays as do most.  One of us always makes a ham, one always makes our families Easter bread.  We hide eggs go to church and spend hours around the kitchen table. 

Though traditions we celebrate we always have, we feel they should not change, that's why they are traditions. But they do change.  The company we both are used to receiving to join our hours of holiday fun have dwindled and its frustrating. 

There are few times a year anymore that friends and family you don't typically get to sit and have dinner with get to come over and spend time, and it seems those times a year are becoming even more few.  What can you do?  They are all always welcome& our doors are always open. (hope theres no thieves reading this, just in case they are not actually always open its a figure of speech lol )

Never the less we will be enjoying our holiday fun, no matter how many or few decide to join us.

Happy Easter  

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

D- Diversity

We've wanted to touch on diversity for a while and since it's a D word what better time than today. Oh how we hate to receive new school registration forms or any forms for that matter that insist on asking if the applicant is White, Black, Hispanic, Native American or Pacific Islander. 
That said let the rant begin.

We both come from multicultural backgrounds as do many Americans.  We are of  Italian, Latin American, German, and Polish ancestries and have both married men who are of Latin heritage also. We indirectly are also influenced by Irish, Turkish & Jamaican cultures as well as various religious beliefs have all become part of our family trees.  One of us is proud to have an adoptive brother too.  To say we are a melting pot is an understatement.


If you are confused, understand that White and Black are characteristics.  While Hispanic, Native American, and Pacific Islander are all Cultures! How is it that our government has not caught on to this yet?!  Black and white do not define a person they are simply adjectives used to describe their appearance.  You can be Haitian and be black, French and be black, you can be from Central or South American and be black.  You can be from Spain and be white, you can be from any country in Africa and be white.  And just because your country may be in Africa doesn't make you African.  Example Egypt, in Africa but they are considered "Middle Eastern."

When we have to check these boxes we think none of these options fit us or our children and really they shouldn't have to fit any group anyway.  Should they?

We have actually met people who have defined themselves as Black or White with no idea of what culture, heritage, ancestry they belong.  This is frustrating.  What are we teaching people?  Have we not grown as a society to put culture before color?  And again how does our own country, our own government, still want us defined as such? 

There is something very wrong with this picture!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

C - Children

Were quite certain that were not alone when we say what the heck is wrong with kids these days!? Better still whats wrong with the parents of these kids!?  Now were not saying our children are perfect but we do want to take a moment and rant about others children and their bad habits we cant control.

Sometimes we wish we could be 7 again, just to be able to teach a thing or two to some wise mouth little snot noses! Perhaps give them a beating too!

We try very hard to hold our children and ourselves to a high standard.  Be polite, courteous, helpful, respectful, strong, caring, to stand up for themselves and others, and to set an example.  Move out of the street when a car is coming, pick the kid everyone else would pick last, first, not to pick on friends. 

How do children now get away with yelling at strangers, older or younger then them?  How do young boys not know when to stop annoying the girls?  How do elementary school kids not know when they are hurting someones feelings?

These are not traits learned in school, these are traits learned or at least not corrected at home!  Enough is enough! We understand we cant raise or police every one's children but come on... these trouble makers do effect the good ones! 

Its been our experience, and there are exceptions to this but for the most part if the parents are non productive members of society, or not respectful, kind, polite, caring, then their offspring wont show these traits either. 

We teach our kids that if you show others kindness they will learn to show it in return.  This is not always true, especially when you have no choice but to interact with losers.  - this really is a rant :-)

Monday, April 2, 2012

B - Baking

So we have this little project we do for holidays and special occasions.  We bake.  We bake to support cancer prevention research.  My husband passed away last March from Medullary Kidney Carcinoma, an extremely rare kidney cancer which there is no treatment for. 

The doctors had used conventional kidney chemo to treat his cancer and was successful but, his cancer grew back quite quickly after his surgery.  The doctors told us we would have to hang on for a new treatment option to be developed.  Those who know me will tell you I have zero patience.

I had always baked holiday cookies and had always had requests for them from family & friends.  So I thought to myself, - Self, lets sell our cookies to raise money to find my guy a cure!

Sadly we never got to follow through as he passed away not 6 weeks after the idea came to mind.  In this time I struck a great friendship with my fellow ranter :-).  She had also baked for as long as she could remember selling her custom cakes.  My family and friends insisted that I still pursue my idea to sell my cookies to help find a cure for Eds cancer. Its what he would want.  So we have.  We sell home baked Italian and traditional cookies, made with our own family recipes!

This is a photo showing a sampling of our Italian Mix:  Sesame, Raspberry, Jelly Sandwich, Wedding, Sprinkle, Rainbow, Aunt Susan's & Chocolate Dipped.


I am very connected with my husband and I feel strongly from my husband that the cure for cancer is in the prevention of it.  Our project is called Kookies for a Kure.   Proceeds from our project support cancer prevention research and we attach a cancer prevention fact with each order.  This is very therapeutic and in some way fulfilling.  I feel there is a purpose in all things and its with that thought that we bake happily to help possibly save someone else from developing this disease.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Annoying things people say when someone dies.

I have had the heartbreaking pleasure to hear the most un-comforting words of sympathy in the days of my husbands passing.

You'll love again.
You'll find someone new.
Your young yet.
He was a good man.
The loss of a child is worse then the loss of a husband. (yes someone said this to me someone quite close actually)
How are you doing?
Oh it's gets easier.
He's with god now.
I know how you feel.
You'll be OK.

These words do not bring comfort. How the hell you think I'm doing! Really did you just ask me this? Why would I think of loving again? This is the furthest thought from my mind! Unless you too lost a spouse you don't know how I feel! I don't care if he's with God now, I want him here with me & the kids! No grief is the same, it doesn't make me feel better that I lost a husband instead of a child! I don't want my pain to get easier so do assume I want it too! It doesn't give me comfort to think in time my hurt or thoughts of him will be less! My youth doesn't matter at all! Seventy year old widows find others to spend time with and get comfort from and sometimes even re marry. Whatever, it's what they want. My age is not a factor!  He IS a good man! Only his body is gone his soul still exists! His soul was before he had a body and his soul will continue to be!  

If you take one thing away from this rant it should be that if you find yourself in the uncomfortable place to have to comfort someone grieving sometimes nothing needs to be said, a simple hug says enough.