Warning!!! Controversy Ahead.

Valentines day has now passed and the topic of  mistress' and lovers had entered our scope of conversation yesterday. So lets hash this out.  There is a negative stigma to having a love affair or a partner outside of your marriage or relationship, but lets look at this from another angle. The question is raised could there be some benefit to having a close secondary relationship. Think about how quickly and innocently one of these relationships can develop.  Many of us probably have one and don't even realize it or the impact it has on the primary relationship (marriage etc).

Affair is a sexual relationship or a romantic friendship or

passionate attachment between two people.

A secondary relationship or what some would dub an affair does not have to be physical.  It can be emotional or even spiritual. It doesn't even have to be with the opposite sex. So we would ask do you have a work wife? Work husband? A best friend? Someone you haven't even met? Now a days we've all made online friends. Someone you tell secrets or discuss important decisions or feelings with? Someone you depend on, count on, cant wait to see, or think about when not together? Is there one person you call when you have big news because you know that they will appreciate all you have to say? Is there a person other then your spouse or significant other who's also not your mother who brings a smile to your face, and knows all your favorite things? Guess what... your may be having an affair! Gasp! Shock!

For some an affair or what can be called a secondary relationship can possibly help your primary relationship. It is possible, to have a sustainable, long lasting and happy primary relationship, because the person in the secondary is providing an outlet for frustration, giving support, supplying comfort that would other wise bring stress to the primary relationship. The exchange of these emotions with someone else does not mean that there is any less love for their spouse. Of course some would argue that you should look to you primary partner for all these things and emotions. That may be right, wrong, half way right. Every relationship is different and can handle different forms of strain. It does not mean you love you spouse any less, if you lean on someone else for things you know they would not understand.

For example, a man's buddies, this really is a form of an affair between men who are not in love or having sex but are sharing a mutual passion for something their wives are not apart of or care to be apart of or know anything about.  Surely in these gatherings there are conversations of concerning matters that might never hit the ears of their wives?  Women with their girlfriends, is another form of an affair, they may discuss, complain about your husband. They give your comfort and support, and put you in a better place when you go home to your significant other.

We know this will ruffle lots of feathers, but it supposed to. But we hope you thinking and talking.