V - Valuable

We put so much 'value' into and on things but really lets think for a moment. What makes something valuable?

Is the monetary amount of something what makes it valuable? Is it the sentimental value of an item that makes it valuable? Does something even have to be a physical, actual, anything to have value?

We have always valued the simple things, things that most overlook.  Having a dishwasher, a washer & dryer in the house, a warm and comfy place too sleep, food in the closets, air conditioning, books! We can't even say that we have anything that is an actual something worth much of any monetary value! The sentimental value of objects that are worth NO amount of money and the value of things we can't touch to us, mean way much more! 

Michelle
When my husband got sick everything of 'value' went out the window the only thing valuable that mattered to us was US! The kids, family, love, faith, hope, friends! Its so cliche to say but, when you really get down to the nitty gritty, having those things make you more rich and more special than ANY one physical valuable item. Now that hes in Heaven, each and every item that belonged to him to us is now valuable! Can't part with them no matter the worth.  Even the junk with no worth, baseballs that were in his car that his team played with every week can't be parted with.  They mean so much!

Christine
For me I hold very little valuable(things), it could be because I grew up with the thought and belief that physical things don't last forever. This belief can be attributed to the loss of a parent at a young age. I value my family, friendships, books (this is unexplainable) and the small daily pleasure that some don't think of ;-). I value my time, I think more than any one thing, I can never have enough time with my girls, to play, read, or just sit and be quiet.



If your house was on fire and everyone was safe and you had to save anything, what would it be?

Michelle
I would of course grab his urn ( which i would actually make sure is out with the kids and the dog anyway) but I would grab our pictures. Irreplaceable memories.  HIS necklace charms,  items that have more value in my hand or with my kids then they would anywhere else.

Christine
I would run in and get my books, bad I know, I just love them.

The purpose behind our rant on Valuable, is just to get even one person to rethink whats important.

U - United?

United? How can this country call it's self the United States of America when we're so divided?!

Rich, poor.  Working class, privileged. Our country was founded on the thought that we all, with hard work and determination can achieve greater things and have more opportunities available to us than what was available to our founding fathers and ancestors at the time in their 'home' countries.  Which is why to this day many people choose to come here. 

That said with the election approaching, our primary is today.  If you have followed our previous posts you may have got the idea that we are prideful middle class Americans.  Who have both Republican and Democratic views.  If you are following our election you would see that according to polls the country is at an even split.  We as a country are very divided on the issues.  "United we stand and divided we fall" how many times have we heard this quote?  We cant help be see that as long as Americans remain divided so extremely on issues we will fall again.  We need to not be selfish as to not just think about what is good for one we must consider what is good for ALL.

One issue that jumps out at us among many is the incredibly high cost of food now and qualifications for food stamps. 

We are not talking about the people who abuse the system and thus take advantage of every hard working American we want to address the concern for the same hard working Americans that pay taxes and CAN'T qualify for benefits.  There are many people who desperately need assistance now not because they don't want to work and provide but because circumstance has been put on them that restricts their ability to properly provide for their families.  Are these cases and families not exactly whom welfare assistance is meant to help. 

We saw this article, Food Stamp Challenge that states there are government officials who are currently attempting to buy and live on $35 a week for a food allowance.  We applaud them, we can't appreciate that they (people we put in office) have a genuine understanding for the needs the voters have unless they have experienced our daily struggles for themselves. We hope that this will prove that there is no way possibly to eat, let alone eat healthy on $35 a week.

This country is in crisis - the government needs to put a freeze on food costs and give breaks to farmers on gas & shipping costs , feed etc...; in order to give the the American middle class a chance to catch up. maybe then so many families that have been hit by the financial breakdown wont NEED food stamps. Perhaps another solution is to guide the American public with incentives to but direct from their local farmers. Better still local governments should support and influence their communities to create their own gardens to help with supply and demand.  Trust us a salad made fresh from your own garden tastes much better and is much better for you.  Salad should not come in a bag.

As long as our government insist on throwing crap on top of us well never dig out! Hope this experiment yields the results expected!

O- Oh say can you see?

The American dream or really the American myth? We are brought up to believe that anything is achievable, we can do all things. It's this hope that leaves us complacent and willing to work harder and longer. We grow up thinking that we will do better than our parents, have more, not have to struggle with life and living life.

The truth is that the rags to riches story is a one in a million scenario.  Unless you are born into a life a privilege, the odds are completely stacked against you.

What is the dream?  To own your home, be able to comfortably pay your bills, provide all that your children need without having to struggle, feed them healthy food (not just what can be afforded) have a steady job where you are appreciated at, go on vacation once a year.  These are all things that can be done through hard work and determination.  Or can it?

How many hard working determined people have now lost their jobs their homes all they have worked for in achieving this dream? Is this just bad luck? Too often it feels like no matter how hard you try to get your family to the next level, how good your idea is, that you play cautiously, your still doomed to fail.  Your social class, your credit rating prevents you from being able to hold onto that 'dream' or even from achieving it. 

Everyday, people fall on hardships, things that they have no control over or had no hand in creating. For example a sick spouse, the housing market crashing, loosing your job, things that no amount of planing can prepare you for. Now you find yourself in a situation where you are stuck, you can't get a job, you have medical bills, and can't get a loan to pay anything off because of your credit score & house having no equity. No one person is immune to these things, but the American dreamers the ones who have attained the unattainable, they are the people who seem to be hit hardest in this time of economic distress.

Our hard earned tax dollars were used to bail out banks from their mess. Yet the same curtiousy is not being driected back to the people who worked hard to bail them out.  Really, if you use the same scale to which "WE" are deemed fit for a loan the banks themselves should have been denied the bail out they were given.  "They" being, the banks and goverment officals have made bad decisions that have cost us being, the American people dearly.  And for us making a bad decision or falling on hardship now feels like an almost forever burdon.  We do understand that the bank bail out had to be, that said, it would only seem fair to lower in some respect the qualifications to be approved for a loan. The banks Should not hold you to a standard that doesnt exist anymore!

In the end we suppose, the only thing that matters is a loving family, respect and admiration. Not what you have or didn't have. But, that doesn't mean we all wont try and all shouldn't have equal opportunities to achieve the American dream!

M- Mitt Romney/Mom's

So apparently some democratic analyst made a stupid remark about Mitt Romney's wife, saying that she’s never worked a day in her life because she’s a stay at home mom. Now we can see both sides of this coin. If you've read back to our intro post, you know that there is one of us from each party, and we have some views that cross party lines (really we're just American). We are middle class stay at home moms, one who happens to have the privilege of working from home at her discretion, and has also worked out of her home for several years before that blessing was bestowed on her.




Stay at home moms work very hard we don’t sit home all day and watch talk TV. Now I don’t know the woman personally but I would bet that based on Mitt Romeny’s wife’s social class she did how ever have a bit more help in her daily routines then most average stay at home moms. But none the less that doesn’t mean she didn’t do anything. The other side of this argument is that it wasn’t meant to insult (stay at home moms) as if we have no idea about economics. I think almost every mom & wife knows plenty on the subject because whether we stay at home or add working out of the home to our daily activities we ALL have to be the house chef (so we know all about the rising cost of food), we all are the banker (so we know that there is not enough money to cover expenses and need to balance the funds that are available somehow), we are the caretakers who have to run the kids to the doctors or ourselves (when there is no health insurance and cry that there’s no money to pay for this visit or script) oh and the small matters of mortgage modifications, foreclosures and qualifying for welfare cause someone was just laid off. These are just some examples of what today’s mom/wife has on her plate.




Young or old, no matter which party you are a part of, if you’re of the middle class you know these hardships whether you are a stay at home mom or not. We can’t imagine for one minute that Mrs. Romney ever had to worry about if the electric was going to get cut off cause they had to choose to pay that or the water bill this month. Perhaps she did have these difficulties we are making an assumption, we don’t know where to find her life story, but this comment this analyst made doesn’t affect our votes one bit. The media is a bunch of shit stirrers.

L- Legalizing Drugs

Legalizing drugs has been a hot topic for years.
To be clear we've ever done any illegal drug ever. One of us has never even been drunk. Sad we know but that's not our topic today.

Really we could give a flying fig if anyone wants gets high. What is it any of our business unless of course you live in our home or you are our kids. Other then that go ahead get as high as a kite if you like.

If the government would legalize drugs in our opinion it could actually improve a lot of crime and pull us outta our financial hole the government put us in. Think about it. People are gonna buy drugs legal or not. The money that is spent on illegal drugs is not taxed.

So should someone want to buy marijuana, cocaine, meth whatever let them and have them pay taxes just like on alcohol and tobacco.  Like the FDA really gives a shit about people taking illegal drugs. They approve pharmaceuticals with side-effects and that are potentially deadly all the time! There should be a data base where you have to sign your name each time you make a purchase just like when you pick up your perceptions at the pharmacy. When you have reached a certain level each week or month you'll be cut off just as when you've drank too much at a bar.

This should also reduce street related drug crimes cause they can't push the stuff on the street so they can't shoot each other over it. I'm sure they'll find another reason to kill each other but drugs won't be it.

It will create jobs and generate more tax revenue. It's not like it will put Big Pharma outta business either since they would need some of the drugs they make anyway to make the illegal stuff.

Really think that congress should look into it.  If we were running this would definitely be on our agenda! :-)                       

K - Kindness

It takes more energy to be evil and nasty then it is to be kind.  Little things make a persons day a bit brighter and in turn your day becomes brighter too. 

Just as misery loves company, happy multiplies too.  Pay it forward.  There's an insurance company that has a commercial like that now where one person sees another do something nice and they then do something nice for someone else and it goes on.  There is truth to this. 

The smallest act of kindness could make the world of difference to someones day.  Holding the door for someone else or the elevator or letting someone go ahead of you in the grocery store with a screaming baby, these small almost insignificant acts of friendliness can somehow manage to lift a weight off someones shoulders. 

If only people would put more effort into being nice, kind, friendly & considerate the world would be less toxic and more tolerable.

So be kind - er    :-)

H - Healthy Body Image

We are both mothers of young children.  Between the two of us there are 3 girls 6, 8 & 10.  Both of us are healthy thick woman who love our curves. We are very conscious about using the words fat big or diet around the girls. There is enough pressure from the outside world, they don't need it from us.  There was a period of time only a few years back when everything was skinny, bony, heroin chic.  Who finds that attractive?  Most men we speak to like a woman with meat on them.  You should love your curves.  Embrace them.  Work them to your advantage when necessary :-)  We don't want the girls or any girl for that matter to look at themselves with an unhealthy body image.  Society puts this stigma on our girls about weight and looks.  its wrong! Tthat's why kids grow up screwed up.  They think they don't fit the stereotype and they desperately want to be accepted.  Big is beautiful.  The idea society needs to convey its not the weight (entirely- we do understand that a good weight is important ) but more important its health.  Eating good, being active, before looks and sizes. 

Side Note: Sorry we're late, no school throws us off track

G - God

Our topic may be appropriate or inappropriate considering tomorrow is Easter Sunday and all. Guess it would depend on your view of things.  We have not kept the secret that we are proclaimed Catholic Hypocrites.  We feel most Catholics are hypocrites, they just don't realize this but that's another rant.

Who is God? Is he an energy? A physical being? A woman? Could their be more then one? 

When we pray, think of Heaven or anything 'Divine'  we first think God.  Not Jesus, but God, the energy, being, man or woman who created all, Jesus included. This does not mean we don't think Jesus wasn't a savior, our savior, a significant person or divine being. We just happen to be more spiritual than religious, which means we recognize the top guy, he who reins supreme, the creator etc.. before recognizing his son, the holy spirit, the blessed mother and those alike.  We very heavily believe in Heaven, Angles, Divine Beings, blessed gifts (healing, physic, .....) We believe nothing is by chance, and everything is woven and controlled by something greater then ourselves.  This is a whole system for us with God as president of the operations (so to speak).
 
There are too many Ancient Gods throughout too many different cultures through so many years that have too many similarities to look past that there has always been God, Gods etc... We as a society have developed many religions to explain our beliefs, but that’s actually very complex its easier then that. The belief in God is much simpler then any religion can teach. 

{There are many sub topics on this thought of ours that we could go on and on. But needed to keep this thought as strait and narrow as possible.  It took a lot of effort to not get ourselves off course.  We love this topic and you can read more of our thoughts about it in our past rants.  We have lots more to say and were certain there will be future rants on the subject in the future. } 

                                               

D- Diversity

We've wanted to touch on diversity for a while and since it's a D word what better time than today. Oh how we hate to receive new school registration forms or any forms for that matter that insist on asking if the applicant is White, Black, Hispanic, Native American or Pacific Islander. 
That said let the rant begin.

We both come from multicultural backgrounds as do many Americans.  We are of  Italian, Latin American, German, and Polish ancestries and have both married men who are of Latin heritage also. We indirectly are also influenced by Irish, Turkish & Jamaican cultures as well as various religious beliefs have all become part of our family trees.  One of us is proud to have an adoptive brother too.  To say we are a melting pot is an understatement.

If you are confused, understand that White and Black are characteristics.  While Hispanic, Native American, and Pacific Islander are all Cultures! How is it that our government has not caught on to this yet?!  Black and white do not define a person they are simply adjectives used to describe their appearance.  You can be Haitian and be black, French and be black, you can be from Central or South American and be black.  You can be from Spain and be white, you can be from any country in Africa and be white.  And just because your country may be in Africa doesn't make you African.  Example Egypt, in Africa but they are considered "Middle Eastern."

When we have to check these boxes we think none of these options fit us or our children and really they shouldn't have to fit any group anyway.  Should they?

We have actually met people who have defined themselves as Black or White with no idea of what culture, heritage, ancestry they belong.  This is frustrating.  What are we teaching people?  Have we not grown as a society to put culture before color?  And again how does our own country, our own government, still want us defined as such? 

There is something very wrong with this picture!

Annoying things people say when someone dies.

I have had the heartbreaking pleasure to hear the most un-comforting words of sympathy in the days of my husbands passing.

You'll love again.
You'll find someone new.
Your young yet.
He was a good man.
The loss of a child is worse then the loss of a husband. (yes someone said this to me someone quite close actually)
How are you doing?
Oh it's gets easier.
He's with god now.
I know how you feel.
You'll be OK.

These words do not bring comfort. How the hell you think I'm doing! Really did you just ask me this? Why would I think of loving again? This is the furthest thought from my mind! Unless you too lost a spouse you don't know how I feel! I don't care if he's with God now, I want him here with me & the kids! No grief is the same, it doesn't make me feel better that I lost a husband instead of a child! I don't want my pain to get easier so do assume I want it too! It doesn't give me comfort to think in time my hurt or thoughts of him will be less! My youth doesn't matter at all! Seventy year old widows find others to spend time with and get comfort from and sometimes even re marry. Whatever, it's what they want. My age is not a factor!  He IS a good man! Only his body is gone his soul still exists! His soul was before he had a body and his soul will continue to be!  

If you take one thing away from this rant it should be that if you find yourself in the uncomfortable place to have to comfort someone grieving sometimes nothing needs to be said, a simple hug says enough.                                                              

Hug your children every chance you get

Just read about the school shooting in Ohio.  This is not the first school shooting and sadly it probably wont be the last.
When you send your child to school you have an automatic thought of safety.  You know you'll see them when they come home.  Who thinks you'll send your kid to school and they wont come home.   This goes both ways.  You can send your child to school and when they get home you may not be there.  These are things we don't consider each day.  We go about blind to realities that for some, tonight will not come for some, tomorrow will not come. 

Don't take your loved ones for granted love them every second you get.

Ash Wednsday

So we did as all good Catholic Hypocrites do and we got our ashes this morning AND we got Communion too! NO we are not the larger Catholic hypocrites who only go to church on Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, Easter & Christmas and then talk so above ourselves. We actually do go every week!

Here's our frustration today, were taught that we need to pray in silence & in private. Not to boast about alms giving etc... But were supposed to walk around the whole day with a stamp on our head that announces HEY OVER HERE WERE CATHOLIC SEE WE WENT TO CHURCH TODAY! This is such a contradiction! And why do we make lent a big deal, we should have these behaviors all year long!

We do agree it’s not necessary to boast about alms giving or anything for that matter, it’s called being humble and boasting only makes you pompous anyway no one wants to hear you go about making yourself bigger then you are for your oneself purpose.

The gospel today said do not pray in public like the hypocrites! Which hypocrites is it that we speak of the Muslims who stop whatever they do at certain point of the day to pray? We think this is more devotion the hypocrisy!

When the ashes were placed on our heads the priest said 'Repent & believe in the Gospel'. Which gospel is it that you are referring? The ones only in the bible? Well that's selective don't you think? If you listen to anything in some other gospels that have been written that did not make it into 'The Bible', you'd find there’s a bit more to think about and believe then what were initially taught.

The homily today was fantastic, but really teachings the 'ideas' of lent should be carried the whole year through. Just as the 'spirit of Christmas' is a feeling we should have the whole year too!

Did chivalry die a natural death?

Is chivalry dead we wonder? There is a rare occasion where we come across a gentleman anymore. In experience we have been lucky enough to have been in the company of  men who have manners and respect.  But we have noticed that these men are few and far between. Think about it, when was the last time you(men) held a door open, when was the we(women) have seen a man open the door for a woman?  Stop his daily routine to carry a bag or assist a lady in some way? Given up a seat? Is this because chivalry is dead, that over time these simple gestures have gone untaught or unnoticed by youth and have been lost then to just a few?

 Or is it that as women we are so insistent on being equals that we no longer expect these behaviors from our men, so they don't put forth the effort. Do we then as women negate men who are truly helpful, thinking they have an angle and are expecting something in return. Really when was the last time we(women) waited by the car, to give our dates/partners the chance to open the door. Expected to be helped, instead of just doing it ourselves. I myself am guilty of this, would I love my husband to open a door for me yes, am i going to wait most likely not. Have we as women said "I got it" way to many times, that our counterparts no longer see themselves needed.

Men,  we do love the qualities! Be consistant, lead by example, and INSIST on get the door, she'll love you more for it!

Warning!!! Controversy Ahead.

Valentines day has now passed and the topic of  mistress' and lovers had entered our scope of conversation yesterday. So lets hash this out.  There is a negative stigma to having a love affair or a partner outside of your marriage or relationship, but lets look at this from another angle. The question is raised could there be some benefit to having a close secondary relationship. Think about how quickly and innocently one of these relationships can develop.  Many of us probably have one and don't even realize it or the impact it has on the primary relationship (marriage etc).

Affair is a sexual relationship or a romantic friendship or

passionate attachment between two people.

A secondary relationship or what some would dub an affair does not have to be physical.  It can be emotional or even spiritual. It doesn't even have to be with the opposite sex. So we would ask do you have a work wife? Work husband? A best friend? Someone you haven't even met? Now a days we've all made online friends. Someone you tell secrets or discuss important decisions or feelings with? Someone you depend on, count on, cant wait to see, or think about when not together? Is there one person you call when you have big news because you know that they will appreciate all you have to say? Is there a person other then your spouse or significant other who's also not your mother who brings a smile to your face, and knows all your favorite things? Guess what... your may be having an affair! Gasp! Shock!

For some an affair or what can be called a secondary relationship can possibly help your primary relationship. It is possible, to have a sustainable, long lasting and happy primary relationship, because the person in the secondary is providing an outlet for frustration, giving support, supplying comfort that would other wise bring stress to the primary relationship. The exchange of these emotions with someone else does not mean that there is any less love for their spouse. Of course some would argue that you should look to you primary partner for all these things and emotions. That may be right, wrong, half way right. Every relationship is different and can handle different forms of strain. It does not mean you love you spouse any less, if you lean on someone else for things you know they would not understand.

For example, a man's buddies, this really is a form of an affair between men who are not in love or having sex but are sharing a mutual passion for something their wives are not apart of or care to be apart of or know anything about.  Surely in these gatherings there are conversations of concerning matters that might never hit the ears of their wives?  Women with their girlfriends, is another form of an affair, they may discuss, complain about your husband. They give your comfort and support, and put you in a better place when you go home to your significant other.

We know this will ruffle lots of feathers, but it supposed to. But we hope you thinking and talking.